Building Yourself

March is a busy month. 

There’s Women’s History Month, Music in Our Schools Month, Ramadan, and Irish-American Heritage Month, among other things. It’s a great time for self-reflection; to ask yourself “what kind of person am I?”. But for some of us, that question doesn’t have a clear answer. 

It can be frustrating to not seem to know what you want at all when other people are so focused on their paths. Determining your place in the world and desired future aren’t things you can figure out in a day. Then again, though, a lot of deeper personal problems can be like that. That’s the nature of these things. 

One avenue of self-discovery is figuring out what your favorite hobbies are. I’ve written on this subject before, but you really can find out more important things about yourself by taking up a musical instrument or painting. And even if it doesn’t work out, I personally think it’s better to say “yeah, I’ve tried that, and it didn’t work for me” rather than “I’ve never done that, and I don’t really want to”.

I have a good friend who used to not really feel particularly passionate about anything. Not because of depression or any major mental block, but just because he hadn’t really found anything at the moment. A few months after he told me that, though, he decided to take up writing, and he’s still doing it to this day. He’s even minoring in it at his college. He did that when he was 20 or so- you don’t have to have been doing something since you were in elementary school to find your passion in it. 

Another great source of self-inspiration is to examine your relationships with others. One game I like to play with my friends at the end of long nights is called “hot seat”; where one person is “in the hot seat”, and everyone else gets five minutes or so to ask them questions about themselves. The person who is “it” typically has to answer truthfully, or not at all if the question makes them uncomfortable. I like the game a lot because it’s a great way to find out new things about your friends and how others, particularly the people close to you, perceive you.

It’s easy to feel powerless, especially if you already feel directionless in life. But I like to think that you can still make an impact. Maybe you can’t single-handedly facilitate global change, but you can always make someone else’s life a little brighter. For example, you can’t provide resources for every student in need, but you can help one student find their passion through extracurricular activities, and that’s just as impactful for that one person. Maybe by remembering that we do in fact have an impact, we can start to build up a positive self-image that helps us figure out who we are.