Making Friends, One Step at a Time

Last month’s blog was about moving forward with the help of friends, but I think I forgot something.

How do you even find those friends in the first place?

A great way to start is just going to a place centered around that common interest. That “common interest place” is usually an extracurricular activity of some kind. Band, basketball, quiz bowl, chess club, theater, etc. It’ll give you something to enjoy while also helping you search for a group of friends to connect with. And it takes your mind off your, well, curricular things!

When you’ve found that “common interest place,” go there every week. Consistency is the name of the game. It takes time to build up a good friendship, even if that ever-elusive, legendary “spark” is there. Even if both people say all the right words, hit all the right notes, and check off all of each other’s green flags.

Thinking back to high school, I remember that although we couldn’t really socialize much during daily band practice, we were encouraged to do so during the weekly bus rides to the football games. And whenever we had a home game, we still had plenty of time before the game and during the 3^rd quarter to chat and joke around with each other.

It was every week, not just once every two months or so. 

And this consistency was in quiz bowl, too. Practice was every week, and we made time before practice and during monthly tournament bus rides to crack jokes. (Well, we joked around during practice, too, but that’s besides the point.) 

This is why every student should have access to extracurriculars in the first place. Making friends is a lot harder without sharing a common interest or even a common place. That’s why organizations like Start 1 Spark make sure more students get the equipment they need to join activities like track, baseball, band, or drama. Then, they can feel free to be themselves, be awkward, and grow as people together, without worrying about how much their instruments or cleats might cost.

Then, they can focus on the long game of friendship, instead of the hard crunch of price tags, one practice at a time.